Exploring Self
  The shift is not a thing. It is the action of increasing your self-awareness.

Gunslinger posts:

Good morning!

Those things might just happen in church if you went ahead and went without waiting.

I know I'm not allowed in most churches because of that.

sari posts:

another imagery of pluto-uranus is 'the bird in a cage' ….which is similar to the fart in a bag, maybe the bag rather is a box (Pandora's?)

that box …. not allowed to open …. only shit in there….. so 'they' say.

'they', who's that'???
Saturn. (the energy I perceive, when I look into the mirror, or when I merely open the door, or when I merely meet somebody in the supermarket …the postman or … all my beloved inquisitors.)

so the shit is no shit - it's a veryveryvery precious, valuable treasure.

…. for completion of that aspect ….

ssassa

Gunslinger posts:

Interesting:

'the bird in a cage'

Is the metaphor that E uses to describe a belief in a belief system. The bird cage is the belief system, the birds are the beliefs in the system, and the different colors, sounds, crap, mess and the rest are how these beliefs affect you.

Have a great weekend!!

sari posts:

Gunslinger wrote:

Interesting: 'the bird in a cage' Is the metaphor that E uses to describe a belief in a belief system. The bird cage is the belief system, the birds are the beliefs in the system, and the different colors, sounds, crap, mess and the rest are how these beliefs affect you. Have a great weekend!!

yes, i know, my astro-teacher used this imagery 20 years ago …. (isn't imagery another word for metaphor??)

since Im not 'working' in the common sense, I do not distinguish between w-days and we's.
but as I understand, you do … enjoy it any way, any how ….

is it very hot in Texas? I imagine it is … baking oven, all year (like NYC in august??)

When I think of Texas I always see Liz Taylor, Rock Hudson and James Dean in this 'oil movie' …

sasa

Rob_Niven posts:

i once put oil on the floor to watch my highschool drafting teacher , who was on a "'three-wheeled-mobilization-unit', skid out into the wall as he was coming around a corner..


some find that amusing and some dont.


i wouldnt do that now because i think i have gained some aspect of respect for my actions since i was in high school and taught to be juvenile but learned humanity and humility through my actions.





Now to you my saharis(notice my use of the southern slang of "har" instead of "l.o.l")


Its like farting in church.

exactly like the attitude towards a smooth release during choir.
choir is just a way cover up the sounds the farts make..


heres what happens…
a fart is detected…
everyone begins to look around for the culprit.
An s.b.d. (silent but deadly) has been unleashed from one of the pews. so it seems
And so afoul the altar boy sniffs his armpits thinking it was him. The priest, so strangled by his collar, sweating already says:

"who hath defouled a sacred place!"

the alter boy….sitting there with his bible, smirking, blows out the candles again.



moral of the story is:
who ever smelt it dealt it.

Now praise god,
(between the lines)

Gunslinger posts:

sari wrote:

yes, i know, my astro-teacher used this imagery 20 years ago …. (isn't imagery another word for metaphor??) since Im not 'working' in the common sense, I do not distinguish between w-days and we's. but as I understand, you do … enjoy it any way, any how …. is it very hot in Texas? I imagine it is … baking oven, all year (like NYC in august??) When I think of Texas I always see Liz Taylor, Rock Hudson and James Dean in this 'oil movie' … sasa

It's not HOT here, yet. Rather mild for June. 90F HOT here is in July and August, 100-105F.

Texas is really at lot more than the movies. Yes, part of it is like the movie you speak of, "Giant", but it's piney woods, hard wood forests, grasslands, low scrub trees, caliche deserts, and some mountains. It's hilly, and flat as a calm sea. Just depends where you are. Texas is about the size of France, with all sorts of climates.

You must come see!

Namaste'
Todd

Gunslinger posts:

ecrosset wrote:

Gunslinger wrote: Well, I couldn't find Michael Whelan's pic of Roland and the Raven in the avatar lists. Thanks for the compliment! Now, if someone will just make movies out of the middle Trilogy, the journey to the Light Side of the Force will be complete. Here you go - save it to your 'puter - then upload as your avatar in your profile. -- Eric

Did you notice, Eric, that Roland in this pic is holding a rose?

*smiles*

sari posts:

Texas:
Todd (is this name referring to Crawley): have you got a gun … I would like to learn 'shooting' like a sport. Once I had one in my hand …. felt great!!

'k'

tell ya a bit of my story…. feeling the challenge of english … okay…

I lived in NY 1981, went to LA in August because of the heat: LA was boring, so took the train to SF …. there: wow, this is where I wonna live: same ev. went into a club with black music …. "chose" the bass - player…. ) for 2 weeks had best time. Went to G. packing an oversea-siutcase (took 2 mth and a fortune) … back in NY, on the phone, this black dude said: "Im not sure". I was, got to SF anyway ….. after to much partying, too much cocain I decided: I want to do something reasonable, decent … bla: studying LAWS!! I finally got that one, was very proud, reading a lot of phylosophical stuff … but couldnt handle the "cause and effect" chains. Got terrible headaches….I knew, I would never be a lawyer, but what to do now. I stayed. Next to me sitting a woman in red, beautifull, with a chain around her neck and pic in it. I asked: what's that? She, that's a Mala. Oh Baghwan … I asked more, she couldnt answer, her friend neither, I got more and more curious …. I ended up listening to lectures on tapes … all sounded familiar to me … I remember listening to the 'fuck lecture' laughing like crazy …. while studying I did Carate … got 'adicted' 2 times a week more than 2 hours, afterwards kind of spiritutal, emotional exhaustion … physically uploaded …. I decided to do Zen instead!! I was so high, you cannot imagine!! I felt Baghwan as a brother, explained to everybody who wanted to listen, what it was all about ect. ect….. wondering myself what they (the sannyassins) were doing. Got in touch with one of the first of Puna … He took me to a party in Berlin, where "The Queen" of Oregon Rashneespuram 'Sheila' ….There I was : the only one sitting dressed up in hihg heels at the bar … the rest of the crowed bowing theirs heads, minds, emotions down to HER royal highness ….. I was shocked an amused at once … Kind of: what the hell is going on here … that has nothing to do with what Bhagwahn ever says ….

anyway - I was 31 years old … no Elias around, I could talk to. so what happened. I went back to Göttingen where on a wall was I big pretty pic of B, I always talked to. After I said 'HI, be right with you," I felt such a strong pull towards that pic … couldnt even make myself a cupofcoffee. What was his message: they are poisening me (him). Called a friend who was very accepting my state of beeing (crazy!!) and he kind of channeled …. "Sabine, you got to go".

The story now turns to the NEED. Money for the ticket: called my uncle "need 4000 DM" What for" "dont ask me"…. no way. …. I got it from somebody else, a girlfriend in Bremen, who also came to the airport before I left. There was a kind of fear: I had to immigratethe US in disguise: took my grey siut and acted like a business-bla. .. perfect. I decided not to fly from Frankfurt, cause I suspected my family would 'catch' me … Hamburg was my choice. Together with the friend from Bremen, we went (it was like 2 pm) to all airline-desks: everbody said: no more flights today.

This friend tried to convince me to give up … "You see, please dont do it" "Lets go, have a coffee, I know I will go. Today." 2 hours later, I went to the British airways desk: there it was, a flight to JFK via London.

…. to be continued …

Tart posts:

Hi S,

quite an interesting story … especially since a number of the places mentioned also appear in my own life story with somewhat similar associations.
Waiting to read the rest of it…

K/.

sari posts:

… continuing story on my way to Texas ….

we have March 1984, Sabine:

- an application- form for membership has been send to Rashneeshpuram …. most of my clothes are 'reddisch' (kindof red) …. red is the color all sannysins chose … however … but red in different hues is allowed: I had dyed most of my clothes in all variations of purple (!!),

- now wearing a grey 'Thierry Muggler'- siut (from my times in Berlin, working for a movie-production-comp.) looking like the smartes business-lawyer, one can imagine…. -

… sitting in a BEA plane Heathrow-JFK. As usual the stewardess comes along asking:
"What would you like for dinner: fish, meat or vegetarian?"
(I am not a 'real' vegetarian, but now, since I am semi-part of that company…)
"Well, if possible, I'ld like vergetarian"
With the business smile in her face, the stewardess vanishes for a few minutes, then appears:

"Since Mr. Shah canceled his flight, you can have his vegetaring dish"

…from that moment I was "Ma Prem Shah"!!!



JFK: immigration was easy… now:
I started with expectation excersise: B has organised further transportation.
He did not.
Frustration was not my favorite expression: I was so excited and full of trust, that I shortly shifted into … let's try patience, tomorrow is another day … it's not so bad here at the airport.

Changed my suit into purple pants and stuff …

next morning at the ticket counter, I created for the money of econ a 1st class ticket.
"Why" ? I asked the guy …"cause youre such a nice person".

In Portland:

I had already figured out the Sannyas Center, where the connecting transportation is organised. When I came in, all those pics of Bhagwahn smiled at me … I felt NO DOUBT.

At the counter I intruduced my self as 'Ma Prem Shah' … of course.
The 'serious' lady of organisation left for a while, came back, looking at me much more serious:
"You are not 'Ma Prem Shah' …. that name does not exist in our register. You better go back to Germany and …. meditate".

I smiled in her face… maybe a little frozen, but still without any doubt: B still smiling at me.

Went out of that building: where is a car-rental? … may be next to the Station.
At the Station there is .. of course… a car-rental.
the man at the counter: sorry, all cars are out.
Took a deep breath ….
no more then 1 minute later a person comes in, bringing back his car.
You can have it.
Very well.
Toyota, kind of 'Nairobi red', 4 doors …. everything just fine.

Next step was the destination of Rashneeshpuram:
imagine, I had no address. Not even the name of a city close to R …… but …. a zipcode.
… and "they know me now, no way of calling them!"

So I went to a public phone, calling the information:
"Excuse me, I do have an extraordinary request, I do have a zipcode and need the City, that belongs to it."
Pause
"Sorry mam, we dont do that, I can give you only zip-codes to cities"

…. how did I make her give me the name of the city after all… I do not remember …but I got it.

It was merely a direction … but I felt quite confident, that I would find the further with my intuition.


…. to be continued …

Gunslinger posts:

Really KEWEL!!

Calotcha posts:

I've been reading this thread, and wanted to say, Sari, i find you a very interesting person.

sari posts:

… your crucifying/trorturing my dictionary…

maybe KEWEL is a synonym for ….???

looks like an animal to me …hmmmmm

ahhhhh gottcha… it's a texanian disch.

Correct, says the dead guy.



anybody interesting how the story goes …. the worst of the worse has not been mentioned yet.

but I like to admitt something, which is true as my love to my Sonja: (Sabi, dont use your innocent daughter …. bäh…)

anyway. This story happenend 23 years ago.
I wasn't able to write in down (in german) until about 6/7 months ago.
Why?
First: I did not want to irritate anybody( I still was ..) … I did not want to sound 'braggy' …. I did not want to hear: wow, what a story …. what … blabla…. because, not easy to say, I did it because I had to… of cause there was my free willl, but … a lot of 'buttttts'.

The reason was: I did not understand it. I was not able to explain it for myself, was not able to evaluate in a manner I felt comfortable with ……

ALL explanations I finally found in the E. material.
I took me 2 years, more travelling in this kind to explore and understand what that 'source-event' in all its facets meant …. the abstract imageries had to be unveiled until I could write it down. The german version is still a little 'serious' …. Im now having lots of fun myself writing it down again here.

SO DOES ANYBODY WANTS MORE???

… it matters not, I'm writing it for my Self!!!

sari posts:

Calotcha wrote:

I've been reading this thread, and wanted to say, Sari, i find you a very interesting person.

thx Cal … same to you!!!

you'r Mr. BIG SMILE for me

Gunslinger posts:

You are understanding my Texian and your self.

Please continue?