Exploring Self
  The shift is not a thing. It is the action of increasing your self-awareness.

Rob_Niven posts:

Bloody Rude wrote:

Bloody Rude wrote: II allow their craziness, why don't they allow mine? hmm.. I just changed that to "Why don't I allow mine?"

exactly man. who cares if all those other people you meet dont allow you. allow yourself and the rest will fall in place. be yourself and the rest will fall in place.

Stevelord posts:

Bloody Rude wrote:

I realise now after seeing a derelic post that I was just being me and that therefore those others who saw me being what I am didn't like it so they called me rude. I am more shifted than they are, I see that, too. but since "they" are my immediate family what can I do? I'd really like to know what I am do to not be upset about how they react. I mean they are always telling me to be myself and believe in me but that seems to be the me they want who will obligate them. that's ridiculous in these shift times. I allow their craziness, why don't they allow mine? My thinking is "Don't question them", stay out of their way as much as possible. try to be neutral.

Dear Mr Rude. Firstly I dont know if your rude because I dont know what this means. "somewhat lax in (my) determinations" .Guess Ill just have to listen to you.

As for your habit and wish to be yourself, but your wish also to not appear rude, these two are probably incompatible. You will have to choose one or the other. If you give free rein to your personality, and it upsets people, then thats just the way it is and you will have to restrain yourself or live with wolves. Sorry to have to inform you of this sad fact of life.

Steve

derelic7 posts:

A few observations:

Why should you justify who you are?

Bahahahaha

And you don't create your immediate family?

You're not supposed to do or be anything other than what you want.

Yeah.. so why don't you create a different situation?

You don't expect them to be fine with your expression because you're not.

Which isn't really being neutral.

MirrorSelf posts:

Spartanessa wrote:

Rob_Niven wrote: robots..wow, hadnt thought of the physical movement involved in robotics that may be intentual of a zuli before. interesting…. im sumari aligned, sumafi belonging. youll be accepted here. have a good time. ……im looking for a video of someone doin the robot dance Here ya go Rob… knock yourself out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsOaQGF7kiQ&feature=related

Wow that was really cool!

MirrorSelf posts:

Thank you Derelic someone had to say that.

Rude, you sound to me like you still have a bit to sort out. You do realize your surroundings are a reflection of yourself, right? Self love means allowing your own expression and appreciating your glorious creation around you. Enjoy. Be you. Love you. And the people around you change to reflect the changes in what you are.

MirrorSelf posts:

Bloody Rude wrote:

Bloody Rude wrote: II allow their craziness, why don't they allow mine? hmm.. I just changed that to "Why don't I allow mine?"

Yep, smart.
I think a Sumari/Zuli would be neat. What sort of physical expression to you like to do?

Bloody Rude posts:

so far the physical expression has been schizophrenia and ministrokes and busting bones and experiencing migraines and haveing nervous breakdowns and that's bodily activity. I like sex but th edrugs from trying to stop my schizophrenia has made me numb and libidoless. so I am stuffed as far sex is concerned. darn!
I am not suicidal. But I was depressed for 4 years. I got gingivitis but cured that with eating plain, bland food, which I still do. I got light-sensitivity and sound sensitivity. I keep away from, as much as possible, flash-pop scenarios i.e. concerts, movies, theatres, plays, bars, pubs, restuarants, musicals, anything with loud music and loud lights. Don't go to the beach, don't go to the country. I am a bit agoraphobic. I am !!@@##!!!

MirrorSelf posts:

Well, whatever you like, man.

Stevelord posts:

Hey Bloody, what went in to your decision to take anti schizophrenia pills. DOes your life suit you better when you are on the meds or off of them, all things considered.


Steve

sumaricat posts:

Stevelord wrote:

Hey Bloody, what went in to your decision to take anti schizophrenia pills. DOes your life suit you better when you are on the meds or off of them, all things considered. Steve

I like this screen name better. It suits me. Like a cat I am lone, independent and seeking quiet comfort. though my mews are sometimes loud.

Steve, I was insidiously introduced to antisykotics by several doctors treating me for high anxiety. unbeknown to them I got worse. finally after a real sykotic episode i was given very strong drugs and I had A NDE! then I went cold turkey and haven't touched one since 1990.

the antisykotics were helpful in one sense as to keep me down, but they were too downing. I couldn't do anything I wanted much to the doctor's surprise I was on very low dose (1mg) was too strong. I am very sensitive. and they wouldn't give me the antidote to the Parkinson-like tics. so I was twitching and going in and out of consciousnness and my muscles were tightening and strethcing. my body felt like a rag doll and like I had a noose around my neck at the same time. talk about torture! all I needed was to stay home and have someone explain me to me, but in those days no-one seemed to know what I was experiencing. I went to a psychologist but their textbook methods were useless.

I still exhibit something liek schizo but now I realsie what I am doing , through Elais's material I am focusing multidimensionally through out my alternate realities and bringing them (Bleedthrough-like ) into this reality. Through strong or deep long meditation I have now reconfigured my energy spectrum into a better state of "control" and don't exhibit syko behaviour any more unless I am in a stressful situation like work or play. So I keep away from high stress situations. unhappily I let my self get stressed once at my brother's farm doing lawnmowing, but I learnt my lesson and told my brother that I am not working on his farm anymore.

the worse drug I take now is analgesic for th eheadaches are a stil happening but they are diminishing under more stringent meditation accessing my future and past focuses to help me address to beleifs I hold that are also influencing my behaviour. I understand now that I must've be usch an ass in other focus realities and here in this reality I am paying for it. though it is exploration of beliefs I am very tense and sensitive and feel these focuses realities very much and then I have ahd to address to these expressions a lot.

so now I cruise more than jump up mountains.

thanks
sumaricat


o

Stevelord posts:

sumaricat wrote:

Stevelord wrote: Hey Bloody, what went in to your decision to take anti schizophrenia pills. DOes your life suit you better when you are on the meds or off of them, all things considered. Steve I like this screen name better. It suits me. Like a cat I am lone, independent and seeking quiet comfort. though my mews are sometimes loud. Steve, I was insidiously introduced to antisykotics by several doctors treating me for high anxiety. unbeknown to them I got worse. finally after a real sykotic episode i was given very strong drugs and I had A NDE! then I went cold turkey and haven't touched one since 1990. the antisykotics were helpful in one sense as to keep me down, but they were too downing. I couldn't do anything I wanted much to the doctor's surprise I was on very low dose (1mg) was too strong. I am very sensitive. and they wouldn't give me the antidote to the Parkinson-like tics. so I was twitching and going in and out of consciousnness and my muscles were tightening and strethcing. my body felt like a rag doll and like I had a noose around my neck at the same time. talk about torture! all I needed was to stay home and have someone explain me to me, but in those days no-one seemed to know what I was experiencing. I went to a psychologist but their textbook methods were useless. I still exhibit something liek schizo but now I realsie what I am doing , through Elais's material I am focusing multidimensionally through out my alternate realities and bringing them (Bleedthrough-like ) into this reality. Through strong or deep long meditation I have now reconfigured my energy spectrum into a better state of "control" and don't exhibit syko behaviour any more unless I am in a stressful situation like work or play. So I keep away from high stress situations. unhappily I let my self get stressed once at my brother's farm doing lawnmowing, but I learnt my lesson and told my brother that I am not working on his farm anymore. the worse drug I take now is analgesic for th eheadaches are a stil happening but they are diminishing under more stringent meditation accessing my future and past focuses to help me address to beleifs I hold that are also influencing my behaviour. I understand now that I must've be usch an ass in other focus realities and here in this reality I am paying for it. though it is exploration of beliefs I am very tense and sensitive and feel these focuses realities very much and then I have ahd to address to these expressions a lot. so now I cruise more than jump up mountains. thanks sumaricat o

Sumaricat, thanks , but you got me confused, are you Bloody Rude, because Bloody wrote "th edrugs from trying to stop my schizophrenia has made me numb and libidoless" , but you as Sumaricat say you dont take those drugs?

ANyway you sound real smart and in some ways I envy you for haiving chosen schizophrenia, because that thins out your veil better than almost any human does. May I suggest the whole thread started by Rob Niven , asking me, Steve Lord, entitled steve lord, I need your help. It describes methods you can use for the following purposes. I have watched five peope who had schizophrenia calm right down in ten minutes, and have less delusional behavior, just from wearing the cotton in their ear, that I described to Rob in that thread (organic cotton) read the whole paper I wrote on it and pay attention to every detail I list there, I provided the link to it. The five people with schizophrenia that tried it unanimously agreed that they likee it. I also guarantee it will heal your gingivitis,and it is a miracle for curing depression both of which Bloody said he suffered from, flat out miracle, and it will lessen your agoraphobia so you can get out more, everyone report its calming and antianxiety effect. As for your headaches several people have reported quick headache elimination with the cotton, including Derelic in Robs thread . Or if that does not eliminate it all the way, try the other techniques in my paper. What analgesic do you take, because codeine or other synthetic opiates will make this thereapy much less effective. PLus there is a recent report that they create a situation making it more likely you will get another headache , if you take them all the time. I dont think they will be necessary for you to take at all if you do these techniques.

If you do go out and the cotton in ear does not lessen the anxiety all the way, two people tried the looking at the skin on the hand that I describe in Robs thread, and got rid of their panic attack immediately, so you can add that to your repetoire. The looking at the skin on the hand method is stronger than the cotton but more tedious to do of course. ALso try the looking at tv snow with the sound off and tell me what it does to you, see Robs thread. And instead of meditating one day try the blindfold method described because it it terrific for widening awareness.

Let me know what happens.

Steve Lord

Rob_Niven posts:

BethanyBuffington wrote:

derelic7 wrote: A few observations: Why should you justify who you are? Bahahahaha And you don't create your immediate family? You're not supposed to do or be anything other than what you want. Yeah.. so why don't you create a different situation? You don't expect them to be fine with your expression because you're not. Which isn't really being neutral. Thank you Derelic someone had to say that. Rude, you sound to me like you still have a bit to sort out. You do realize your surroundings are a reflection of yourself, right? Self love means allowing your own expression and appreciating your glorious creation around you. Enjoy. Be you. Love you. And the people around you change to reflect the changes in what you are.

well said bethany (see, it works)

Stevelord posts:

AH I see what is happening now. Sumaricat is not Bloody, Sumaricat has stolen BLoody's identity, is impersonating him, and he has done the same for Ornah. He sees a thread which has been abandoned by the man who started it and then assumes their identity. It was confusing me in that Booody was less together then SUmaricat, more vulnerable , more unsure of himself, and Sumaricat contricted what Bloody said about schiz meds. So Sumaricat, are you 1234, Mystery 443, or Becker come back to haunt us or all three?

Steve

sumaricat posts:

Stevelord wrote:

AH I see what is happening now. Sumaricat is not Bloody, Sumaricat has stolen BLoody's identity, is impersonating him, and he has done the same for Ornah. He sees a thread which has been abandoned by the man who started it and then assumes their identity. It was confusing me in that Booody was less together then SUmaricat, more vulnerable , more unsure of himself, and Sumaricat contricted what Bloody said about schiz meds. So Sumaricat, are you 1234, Mystery 443, or Becker come back to haunt us or all three? Steve

I may be yourself.

patternwalker posts:

Bloody doppelgangers!!!
Can't swing a dead sumaricat without hitting one