Exploring Self
  The shift is not a thing. It is the action of increasing your self-awareness.

guinevere9876 posts:

Not well! Thanks for asking! Yeah, it was what *I* needed to do at the time, ya know? Those were the questions I wanted to work thru, and at that time that was the best way I knew how to do it. Lots of defensiveness, lots of justifying and attacking and a lot of *not accepting*. It's neither good nor bad, it's just how it was. I then created moving away with my boyfriend-now-husband to the FL Keys and enjoyed being around a lot of different people and worldviews, and over the years I began to see how each person was choosing what they needed perfectly for them, and I didn't have to do it that way, only *my* way.

*Love* the Beatles (thanks to my Mom for that, for keeping all of her albums for me to discover and fall in love with back in the early 80's).

Um, I dunno how secret it is, but one big, BIG, *BIG* thing I appreciate that I've reminded myself about is just being ok with myself as I am. I have a strong tendency to beat myself up about lots of my choices, and so each day I practice just noticing whenever I do that (discount myself in any way, which is, like, all the time, in soooo many little ways, including my self-depricating humor). And when I notice it, I don't judge it. Sometimes I like 'letting it be', and other times I can't just 'let it be', and that is the beauty of it. The choice. I guess I just dig the freedom I have to choose more. Instead of *always* auto-triggering and auto-responding with "can't let it be", I enjoy the freedom more often now of *choosing* to 'let it be' or not. And I enjoy knowing now that either choice is 'ok' and that I'm not a 'bad person' for stirring the pot, nor am I a 'good person' for letting it be. I love talking to Volds, cuz I see more and more things about me that I used to think were 'deficient' somehow, but now I see that my questioning and pot-stirring has real value and purpose.

I've noticed in the past 3 or 4 years (since objectively becoming friends with my buds Seth and Elias) that I enjoy experiencing not as much trauma as I used to. The more I accept myself and trust myself (more on that another time, I noticed you mentioned that before) , the more things just seem to flow easier, instead of me pushing, and pushing, and forcing all the time.

And for me, I really , really like being emotional, and I like processing my stuff that way. I feel into everything, I pay close attention to *all* of my impulses and impressions, and that has led me to a lot of truly magical experiences. The more I learn what *I* like, the more fun creations I seem to create, and that helps me sooo much to trust myself more. You feel thought-focused or political-focused.

- M/E

bunseam posts:

M.E. my dear friend. Great to see you on board!!!! I LOVE this site! I'm more comfortable expressing my natural wack flow here than anywhere else!! …… P.S. If you get the chance, check out Eric's "New Story Thread" in the Watercooler section! Love, Ob' ( I use my AOL user name: "bunseam" here because after multiple tries I couldn't , for some reason, join using my Yahoo handle: "hyperconnecticut" )

Stevelord posts:

Yes Michele, its true, we accept all natural wacks here.

Steve

Myranda posts:

guinevere9876 wrote:

Hi Marina! Thanks so much! ) I recognize your name from Myranda/Anjuli! So nice to meet you objectively. I have several German focuses, and a deep love for the old Bavarian folk tales and cuckoo clock craftmanship. I always love talking with people from that area, as your energy feels so nice and familiar. ) - M/E

Just saw your hello… cool that you are here! coo-coo, dear cuckoosister

bunseam posts:

Teutonic connections!…

Elias confirmed focuses: Ken / Oba= Egon Schiele… Michelle / Evealyn= Valerie(Walli) Neuzil… Dale / Jene=Edith Harms

Biography

Education
Egon Schiele was born in Tulln on the Danube. His father, Adolf, worked for the Austrian State Railways as a station master; his mother, Marie, was from Krumau, in Bohemia. As a child, he attended the school run by the Stift Klosterneuburg, where his arts teacher K.L. Strauch recognized and supported Schiele's artistic talent.


Egon Schiele, Self-portrait, 1912When Schiele was 15 years old, his father died of syphilis, and he became a ward of his uncle (his mother's brother), who became distressed by Schiele's lack of interest in academic studies, yet recognized his passion and talent for art. In 1906 Schiele applied at Kunstgewerbeschule (the School of Arts and Crafts) in Vienna, where Gustav Klimt had once studied. Within his first year there, Schiele was sent, at the insistence of several faculty members, to the more traditional Akademie der Bildenden Künste in Vienna in 1906. There, he studied painting and drawing, but was frustrated by the school’s conservatism. Records show that Adolf Hitler was rejected by the Akademie in 1907; this has led to a misconception that Schiele and Hitler knew each other in Vienna.


Klimt and first exhibitions
In 1907, Schiele sought out Gustav Klimt. Klimt generously mentored younger artists, and he took a particular interest in the gifted young Schiele, buying his drawings, offering to exchange them for some of his own, arranging models for him and introducing him to potential patrons. He also introduced Schiele to the Wiener Werkstätte, the arts and crafts workshop connected with the Secession. In 1908 Schiele had his first exhibition, in Klosterneuburg. Schiele left the Academy in 1909, after completing his third year, and founded the Neukunstgruppe ("New Art Group") with other dissatisfied students.


Sitzender weiblicher Akt, 1914Klimt invited Schiele to exhibit some of his work at the 1909 Vienna Kunstschau, where he encountered the work of Edvard Munch, Jan Toorop, and Vincent van Gogh among others. Once free of the constraints of the Academy's conventions, Schiele began to explore not only the human form, but also human sexuality. At the time, many found the explicitness of his works disturbing.


Controversy
In 1911, Schiele met the seventeen-year-old Valerie (Wally) Neuzil, who lived with him in Vienna and served as model for some of his most striking paintings. Very little is known of her, except that she had previously modelled for Gustav Klimt and might have been one of his mistresses. Schiele and Wally wanted to escape what they perceived as the claustrophobic Viennese milieu, and went to the small town of Český Krumlov (Krumau) in southern Bohemia (the place where Schiele's mother was born, and nowadays the site of a museum dedicated to Schiele). Despite Schiele's family connections in Krumau, he and his lover were driven out of the town by the residents, who strongly disapproved of their lifestyle, including his alleged employment of the town's teenage girls as models.

Together they moved to Neulengbach, 35 km west of Vienna, seeking inspirational surroundings and an inexpensive studio in which to work. As it was in the capital, Schiele's studio became a gathering place for Neulengbach's delinquent children. Schiele's way of life aroused much animosity among the town's inhabitants, and in April 1912 he was arrested for seducing a young girl below the age of consent.


Die kleine Stadt II. View of Krumau an der Moldau, 1912-1913When they came to his studio to place him under arrest, the police seized more than a hundred drawings which they considered pornographic. Schiele was imprisoned while awaiting his trial. When his case was brought before a judge, the charges of seduction and abduction were dropped, but the artist was found guilty of exhibiting erotic drawings in a place accessible to children. In court, the judge burned one of the offending drawings over a candle flame. The twenty-one days he had already spent in custody were taken into account, and he was sentenced to only three days' imprisonment. While in prison, Schiele created a series of 12 paintings depicting the difficulties & discomfort of being locked in a jail-cell.


Porträt des Albert Paris von Gütersloh, 1918In 1915, Schiele met sisters Edith and Adéle Harms, who lived with their parents across the street from his studio. They were a middle-class family; their father was a master locksmith. By April, Schiele and the more socially acceptable Edith, were engaged, and the faithful Wally seems to have been abruptly dropped by Schiele. (In February 1915, Schiele wrote a note to his friend Arthur Roessler stating: "I intend to get married, advantageously, perhaps not to Wally.") Against her family's wishes, Schiele and Edith were married in June 1915.

War
In spite of World War I, Schiele was able to pursue his artistic endeavors. His output was prolific, and his work reflected the maturity of an artist in full command of his talents. He was invited to participate in the Secessionist's 49th exhibition, held in Vienna in 1918. Schiele had fifty works accepted for the exhibition, and they were displayed in the main hall. He also designed a poster for the exhibition, which was reminiscent of the Last Supper, with a portrait of himself in the place of Christ. The show was a triumphant success, and as a result, prices for Schiele's drawings increased and he received many portrait commissions.


Mädchen, 1911During the same year, he also had successful shows in Zürich, Prague, and Dresden.

Schiele participated in numerous group exhibitions, including those of the Neukunstgruppe in Prague in 1910 and Budapest in 1912; the Sonderbund, Cologne, in 1912; and several Secessionist shows in Munich, beginning in 1911. In 1913, the Galerie Hans Goltz, Munich, mounted Schiele's first solo show. A solo exhibition of his work took place in Paris in 1914.

In the autumn of 1918, the Spanish flu epidemic that claimed more than 20,000,000 lives in Europe reached Vienna. Edith, who was six months pregnant, succumbed to the disease on 28 October. Schiele died only three days after his wife. He was 28 years old. During the three days between their deaths, Schiele drew a few sketches of Edith; these were his last works.

Oba's note: Interesting to me also is that Schiele died in 1918 – the same year my mother: Margaret Agnes Benet (Ancestor of the two Stephen Vincent Benet's) was born. I'm the youngest of her five children and only child of her second marriage. She disengaged in 1990 on New years Day. She loved books and lived her life in the world of literary imagination. She once told me that, even though (in her perception) she "couldn't create anything", she was pleased to "produce" someone who could. To this day this makes me want to cry.. Ob'

guinevere9876 posts:

I just now saw this post! Oba!!

bunseam wrote:

Teutonic connections!… Elias confirmed focuses: Ken / Oba= Egon Schiele… Michelle / Evealyn= Valerie(Walli) Neuzil… Dale / Jene=Edith Harms

((((((((((Another hug for Oba))))))))) I love it that you posted this. Ob, you know this story, but for anyone else reading the thread…

Back in 10th grade I was poking thru some art books in the school library, and I came across this drawing

Egon Schiele, Self-portrait as St. Sebastian


and totally fell in love with the image. I did a few projects that year in art class related to this drawing, and I have ever since held Schiele as one of my *very* favorite artists. I had never come across anyone else who knew of Schiele or was familiar with any of his work, until I met Oba on the Elias list, and he posted his session where he had Egon confirmed as a focus of his! I flipped over it, emailing him like a crazy person: "You don't know how much I love Egon Schiele! I can't believe you know *of* him, let alone *ARE* HIM!" lolol! I at first thought I might be Edith, but then definitely felt I was Walli, for sure. It's kinda cool but I've got a red-haired-preference-thing goin on, lolol

Anyway, I love the whole Egon-Walli-Edith 'story' so much. Part of my intent, I feel, is exploring relationships, and I love feeling into the aspects of these focuses. I also really find it fascinating to feel into these preferences and bleed-thrus I have with Oba. I adore reading your stories and feeling into your art and music, and it's funny cuz I can feel the similarities of you Ken/Egon and Michele/Walli and also the differences. Very cool and fun to explore.

Very interesting!

Ken, my mother disengaged on July 15th, 1989 - almost exactly 6 months prior to your mother. Huh!

This is weird, Ob, but my mother would say the same thing. She couldn't draw or write, couldn't carry a tune to save her sweet life, though she always had a wonderful, true eye and ear for art and music. She was always the nurturer behind us, supporting and encouraging me in my art, and my dad in his music. Wow, cool.

Appreciating….
- M/E

Stevelord posts:

Myranda wrote:

guinevere9876 wrote: Hi Marina! Thanks so much! ) I recognize your name from Myranda/Anjuli! So nice to meet you objectively. I have several German focuses, and a deep love for the old Bavarian folk tales and cuckoo clock craftmanship. I always love talking with people from that area, as your energy feels so nice and familiar. ) - M/E Just saw your hello… cool that you are here! coo-coo, dear cuckoosister

Myranda, I just saw your name on the yahoo 360 blog with Dale, Julie R, Mark, Baruch, Debi OOna, Iona etc, are you all freinds from way back? How far back do you personally go with Elias? How come you ddnt go see him in Vienna?

Steve

bunseam posts:

Hi ! M.E. Thanks VERY much for your thoughts on this. And also thanks for posting an actual Schiele image. I tried but I'm not computer savvy enough to understand how to post images on this site, LOL …… Love Ob'

guinevere9876 wrote:

I just now saw this post! Oba!! bunseam wrote: Teutonic connections!… Elias confirmed focuses: Ken / Oba= Egon Schiele… Michelle / Evealyn= Valerie(Walli) Neuzil… Dale / Jene=Edith Harms ((((((((((Another hug for Oba))))))))) I love it that you posted this. Ob, you know this story, but for anyone else reading the thread… Back in 10th grade I was poking thru some art books in the school library, and I came across this drawing Egon Schiele, Self-portrait as St. Sebastian and totally fell in love with the image. I did a few projects that year in art class related to this drawing, and I have ever since held Schiele as one of my *very* favorite artists. I had never come across anyone else who knew of Schiele or was familiar with any of his work, until I met Oba on the Elias list, and he posted his session where he had Egon confirmed as a focus of his! I flipped over it, emailing him like a crazy person: "You don't know how much I love Egon Schiele! I can't believe you know *of* him, let alone *ARE* HIM!" lolol! I at first thought I might be Edith, but then definitely felt I was Walli, for sure. It's kinda cool but I've got a red-haired-preference-thing goin on, lolol Anyway, I love the whole Egon-Walli-Edith 'story' so much. Part of my intent, I feel, is exploring relationships, and I love feeling into the aspects of these focuses. I also really find it fascinating to feel into these preferences and bleed-thrus I have with Oba. I adore reading your stories and feeling into your art and music, and it's funny cuz I can feel the similarities of you Ken/Egon and Michele/Walli and also the differences. Very cool and fun to explore. bunseam wrote: Oba's note: Interesting to me also is that Schiele died in 1918 – the same year my mother: Margaret Agnes Benet (Ancestor of the two Stephen Vincent Benet's) was born. I'm the youngest of her five children and only child of her second marriage. Very interesting! bunseam wrote: She disengaged in 1990 on New years Day. Ken, my mother disengaged on July 15th, 1989 - almost exactly 6 months prior to your mother. Huh! bunseam wrote: She loved books and lived her life in the world of literary imagination. She once told me that, even though (in her perception) she "couldn't create anything", she was pleased to "produce" someone who could. To this day this makes me want to cry.. Ob' This is weird, Ob, but my mother would say the same thing. She couldn't draw or write, couldn't carry a tune to save her sweet life, though she always had a wonderful, true eye and ear for art and music. She was always the nurturer behind us, supporting and encouraging me in my art, and my dad in his music. Wow, cool. Appreciating…. - M/E

guinevere9876 posts:

And thank *you* too, hon. Funny about posting the image, cuz it took me a while to get the lil fucker up there, and I was quite proud of myself for stickin with it til I got it done. lol! (Vold/Sumari thing) lol! I even know how to imbed videos and put up active links on the 360 blog now! Whoa nelly… look at her go….

Calotcha posts:

Well, since i'm Alien aligned (i just figured out my true alignment), i'll be watching you guys and will zapp you from above if you screw up while ruling the world. Eh eh!

Stevelord posts:

Actially Cal, I was only kidding, seeing as I evidently have a propensity for liinking myself up with the Vold persuasin , as far as ruling the world, it sounds kind of boring and old hat to me. Been there, done that.

Steve