Exploring Self
  The shift is not a thing. It is the action of increasing your self-awareness.

Marina posts:

I finally asked Markus to delete my account and I also aksed him to not mentioned it here and just do it.

But I feel like saying something. There is so much overwhelming and sad energy in my chest and I don’t know how to vent off the energy. Some of you know that some time ago I was close to leaving the forum (because Markus chose to completely break the contact with me).

I really thought that I can deal with the situation. I tried to feel comfortable at BF and to happily post and talk with you. I would lie when I say that I didn’t and still do enjoy the interaction with all of you.

But I would also lie when I say that the situation doesn’t overwhelm me. Sometimes when I visit BF I couldn’t read the letters on the screen because of the tears in my eyes.

I know that this sounds weepy and silly – but I don’t want to camouflage what I really feel. To me the friendship with Markus was something really important.

I was a member at BF from the start – and to me this place was not only a forum where I talked about Elias and the shift but it was always a symbol of the friendship or connection I have with Markus.

We met long before BF – to a time when he came came across Elias and we sort of explored Elias’ teaching at the same time and talked a lot about the sessions.

BF was like a symbol for this connection or joint venture and I can’t distinguish clearly between BF and the relationship I have with him.

The relationship between him and me is just a friendship – but from my part this friendship was nevertheless something what had a huge impact on my life and I am not able to post at BF while I know that he doesn’t want to interact with me in real life or in privately any longer. This hurts more than I can put into words.

Just for the record – if I was in his shoes I maybe would do the same. I really understand him and don’t blame him. I also try to accept his decision – but it is really tough.

But I am in my shoes and currently I am overwhelmed by sadness and hurt feelings (and definetely a lousy Elias student).

ViVette posts:

Rose posts:

Hi Marina,

I hope you feel free to come back whenever you feel you want to. And I hope you will come back, for i like, appreciate and value your inputs.

&

Kimi Kaio posts:

Marina wrote:

I finally asked Markus to delete my account and I also aksed him to not mentioned it here and just do it. But I feel like saying something. There is so much overwhelming and sad energy in my chest and I don’t know how to vent off the energy. Some of you know that some time ago I was close to leaving the forum (because Markus chose to completely break the contact with me). I really thought that I can deal with the situation. I tried to feel comfortable at BF and to happily post and talk with you. I would lie when I say that I didn’t and still do enjoy the interaction with all of you. But I would also lie when I say that the situation doesn’t overwhelm me. Sometimes when I visit BF I couldn’t read the letters on the screen because of the tears in my eyes. I know that this sounds weepy and silly – but I don’t want to camouflage what I really feel. To me the friendship with Markus was something really important. I was a member at BF from the start – and to me this place was not only a forum where I talked about Elias and the shift but it was always a symbol of the friendship or connection I have with Markus. We met long before BF – to a time when he came came across Elias and we sort of explored Elias’ teaching at the same time and talked a lot about the sessions. BF was like a symbol for this connection or joint venture and I can’t distinguish clearly between BF and the relationship I have with him. The relationship between him and me is just a friendship – but from my part this friendship was nevertheless something what had a huge impact on my life and I am not able to post at BF while I know that he doesn’t want to interact with me in real life or in privately any longer. This hurts more than I can put into words. Just for the record – if I was in his shoes I maybe would do the same. I really understand him and don’t blame him. I also try to accept his decision – but it is really tough. But I am in my shoes and currently I am overwhelmed by sadness and hurt feelings (and definetely a lousy Elias student).

Gunslinger posts:

There is no such thing as a lousy Elias student! We (including you) do not have any lice, that I know of!

You are creating perfectly, and incorporating what you will.

Fare thee well, Marina.

Stevelord posts:

Gunslinger wrote:

There is no such thing as a lousy Elias student! We (including you) do not have any lice, that I know of! You are creating perfectly, and incorporating what you will. Fare thee well, Marina.

So then wasnt I creating perfectly before I knew of ghosts, from the time I was born on, and thus the ghosts have caused me no benefit because I was already creating perfectly?

STeve

FocusHunter posts:

Marina, you will be greatly missed

Gunslinger posts:

Conversation with Steve in another thread.

Stevelord posts:

I was hoping to lure back Marina.

STeve

sari posts:

welcome back!

bunseam posts:

That's why she's using a different name