Exploring Self
  The shift is not a thing. It is the action of increasing your self-awareness.

Marina posts:

Hi all and Markus

I guess Markus isn’t a hard core fan of my suggestion but I nevertheless want to ask.

Sometimes I feel like writing about things I don’t want to share with the whole www or even not with all people at BF. For exactly that reason Mary offers x file sessions.

Sometimes I want a place where I can freely talk with people. The idea that there is a ‘safe’ place where I can openly share my thoughts or ask for advice feels good.

What do you think about creating places where people could talk about ‘x-file’ things? I’m not really a friend of private sub-forums. This might look like some members have a vip status and some not. Especially when Markus is the one who choses who belongs to a group and who not.

But what about creating private groups where the group owner invites the members with whom he/she wants to talk in a private and safe room?

At another board we had such groups and it worked quite well - I don't remember that it caused any conflicts.

What are your opinions?

Marina

patternwalker posts:

I don't personally feel the need for a private group, but I see no reason why it should not be created for those who want it.

Kimi Kaio posts:

You can start your own group on Yahoo and make it private and invite whoever you want.

Markus posts:

My opinion is that it would alter the energy in the forum in a way which I would not like.

A yahoo mailing list sounds like a better idea to me and I have absolutely nothing against advertising it here or recruiting members via PM here. But my memories of the safe-group back then in the other forum aren't the best (I remember 20% of the talk were accusations about someone mentioning in-group stuff in the public forum … I remember it more like a control trip by some of the core members), personally I don't dig this idea.

I'm open to the forum at large overriding my preference though … except that I certainly would not want to be the one who decides who's in and not (but I think the forum software would allow to set up a group and group moderator besides myself to take this task) and I would also certainly not want to start setting up a dozen of groups.


Markus

chiana posts:

Marina posts:

I didn't mean Edgars forum, I experienced it the same way like you.

How something works or the energy of something is up to the people and not to the "thing" per se (like we see when we compare NWV and BF).

I have good memories with another forum where we created private groups (sort of private chat rooms) where people could talk about x-file things they don't want to share opnely. I remember that the energy was very comfortable. Had nothing to do with talking bad about other forum members or control trip. I don't think that something like this could happen here ….

I personally don't like the yahoo-lists - never did (I prefere the phpBB style).

However - I just wanted to ask .

Marina

sari posts:

separation would be riding against the wave for me.

Marina posts:

I completely understand what you are saying. We all have our preferences and POVs.

Since I’m the only one who feels the need for some privacy (when I want to talk about x-file stuff) I don’t think it would be a good idea to install something like that.

But one thing I want to add. The mindset of separation, elitism happens in our perception and not in features offered at a forum. Those things are neutral. What we do with or how we think about something is the point and not the thing pe se .

Rose posts:

marina i (think i ) understand your point.

what you have in mind is a soft place to open up, a safe place like among loving and caring friends, which embrace each sharing lovingly and sometimes also take a very very soft approach of moving to the "point".

it is like reading each others diary.

or like elias sometimes speaks with people and comforts a lot, instead of giving a "lecture".

does this point to what you have in mind, or did i misunderstand you?

love and rose

Gunslinger posts:

Heya Marina,

When I have an x-file subject and/or question, I send it to one or more folks in here via P/M. I've also done it via email chains if everyone has the others' email addresses. Actually, the email option we do all the time at work if there's a legal question we are not sure about.

I hope that helps.

T~

patternwalker posts:

Alternatively, you all could PM ME with all of your secret information, and then I would have ultimate power and RULE THE WORLD. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Gunslinger posts:

BWAHAHAHAHA!

I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, yesterday.

Marina posts:

Gunslinger wrote:

Heya Marina, When I have an x-file subject and/or question, I send it to one or more folks in here via P/M. I've also done it via email chains if everyone has the others' email addresses. Actually, the email option we do all the time at work if there's a legal question we are not sure about. I hope that helps. T~

Heya Tod

I'm aware of that option - I got the idea of private groups because I've had very good experiences with such groups. I felt safe and whenever I wanted to share something (which I wanted to keep private) I could visit the website of this forum and felt like visiting good friend ….. This forum still exists and I could use this feature but these people aren't familiar with Elias (like most people in my real life). I often wanted to talk about something at BF but didn't do it because it was too private.

Marina posts:

Rose wrote:

does this point to what you have in mind, or did i misunderstand you?

Yes, Rose guess this is what I mean. But I've already learnt something from this thread. I learnt that what I seek aren't such groups - though I thought it was when I started the thread ….

Rose posts:

Marina wrote:

Rose wrote: does this point to what you have in mind, or did i misunderstand you? Yes, Rose guess this is what I mean. But I've already learnt something from this thread. I learnt that what I seek aren't such groups - though I thought it was when I started the thread ….

smilesmile.

i know this phenomon. (Marina: …."though I thought it was when I started the thread ")


besides that - to me it is also a question of detaching from the/our "story". we are much more than our stories or our history.

i.e. i still feel a little embarrassed over having broken my spine, i.e. and so on one side i have ful understanding and empathy with myself, i would not at once trumpet around what the "history"/"herstory" is.

the internet is a very public place.

on the other hand, each sharing - once it left your mouth is "out of control".

(pointing to the fact that deep lovers sometimes become worst animies) so i share what i have already made my ful detachment with and the rest i leave for later times.

: )