Exploring Self
  The shift is not a thing. It is the action of increasing your self-awareness.

Alan posts:

Hi all. I've had many, many Elias sessions, I think three from Kris, saw Abraham once without asking a question, and have read all of Jane Roberts / Seth except for the last four volumes of the Personal Sessions. I've collected quite a few dead guy statistics for what they're worth; at times it's been fun to play "translate the tone".

From Elias:

Essence name: Allard
Essence tone translated as an English sentence: All loving lures are readily dismissed. (A-L-L-A-R-D, Elias showing off)
Families: Vold/Sumafi
Orientation: Intermediate
Focus type: Emotional
"Position" relative to entering/leaving this dimension: final focus, some waffling about it
Fragmented from (definite need to know this ): Mysha, Myhn, Femmel, Fraum
Number of focuses at last count: 3007
Essence tone translated as chord sequence: A-flat min --> B-flat min --> C maj
Essence color: navy blue
Focus color: was brown, now more chestnut
Within totem animal beliefs, animal most closely approximating my essence tone: coyote
Animal approximating energy of my focus: ferret (Elias: "Busy and curious, with some mischief.")
Most familiar automatic response, per Elias: "I do not like my current scenario."
Focus intent: Exploring intensities of expression and experience.
Core truth: Integrity
Amount of me that believes all this: 51%

From Kris:

Essence name: Ramuel, derived from focuses Ram and Eli who both had some quite baroque religious beliefs, apparently the name of a fallen angel
Six-pack: Vold, Zulida (Zuli/Gramada), Sumari / Sumafi, Milumet, Vold

My main areas of interest with this metaphysical stuff:

- Develop the use of my intuition and inner senses while in or close to normal waking consciousness, engaged in doing whatever, as if they were normal, additional senses. I practice this a lot in all kinds of ways. Related, entering "altered" states of consciousness while engaged in waking activities, broadening what I consider "normal" waking consciousness. Also, holding both simultaneously, holding more than one focus of attention at once in a way that's hard to explain. Spontaneous improvised ritual to focus energy.

- Knowing beyond the intellectual how I am all that is (okay, All That Is). Understanding its motivations and dilemmas and what it doesn't know, and how mine are translations of them (for as long as I can remember I've had a strong sense of "as above, so below"). Besides the stuff on relationships in the Personal Sessions that I'm reading now, the material Seth has given on ATI has probably been the most influential to me.

- Related to this, feeling and understanding Truths as Elias defines them ("those elements of consciousness that are within ALL dimensions and that hold an element of significance within ALL areas of consciousness, physical and nonphysical" - 275), intellectually and beyond the intellectual. Despite what Elias says about them, feeling into and exploring their direct relevance to my existence as I know it.

- Appreciating. Being okay with being.

- Using all of this to connect with another as deeply as possible.

- Curious about what's behind everything. Knowing how things are.

Alan

sylvii posts:

Alan, thanks for sharing and allowing us a glimpse of 'Alan'.

Bean posts:

Yea! Somebody else (and Markus too) with lots of focuses. Everyone was so horror struck that I had 1100+ focuses – I generated that – figured there was something wrong with me to need so many focuses (I kid you not).

I'm also a final focus. Guess that explains the 'intensity' for both of us. Do you have a sense of your 'waffling'? – more of an impression? I'm the only final in my family – Eric and kids are all continuing. I'm not sure how I feel about being final – lots of stuff – but glad that Eric is continuing (those this initially bugged him) because – well, I know we don't co-create – but it does feel there is more of a balance in the intensity since getting together – tho, believe me it's been intense – but pales by comparison to early on.

I hear ya, Alan, loud and clear – and wish for you what I wish for myself.

Thanks for sharing all this!

love,
Marisa

Markus posts:

Hey Alan,

thanks for the powerful description, it must have hurt a lot to write this (I remember that you once said, that you don't like writing ).

Can relate to a lot of things in your post, this one sort of caught my eye. I think that's part of what I'm doing too. Channeling the way Jane, Mary or Serge are doing it, wouldn't be to my taste entirely.


Markus

ecrosset posts:

Alan ,

Thank you so much for sharing this and also thank you for all the excerpts and the thoughts you have shared since I have had the good fortune to encounter them. I am truly in awe of your thoughts and your delivery of them. And there is more than a little bit of comfort for me in being able to "compare notes" on the core truth.

-- Eric

(And I have noted a similar feel in your intent and Marisa's as well as the focus reference name reconfiguration - which I deeply respect and appreciate)

Bean posts:

Holy Shit! I didn't even notice that about the intents! Duh!!

Oh god, Alan! It gets scarier and scarier for you.

Alan runs for the hills to hide from his dreaded doppelganger Marisa!